A self-funded residency

So I somewhat unexpectedly decided to quit my job.

There were reasons, but I also loved my job. Part of me thinks I'm crazy, but part of me knows I need to heal. All of me feels like life is meant to be lived, I have so many projects I've been wanting to work on, my children are growing too quickly, and the burn out after years of working at start-ups through covid is real. Even on the best of days I kept asking myself when it would be my tech-xit.

Thanks to previous startup lottery ticket (ie early shares that actually worked out) I own my house. I have a healthy retirement, and enough money outside retirement that I could sustain myself for 3 years at a not meagre but also not luxurious lifestyle here in much-cheaper-than-San Francisco Tucson, AZ.

My last day was March 1. I have declared this my self-funded residency.

Discussing creativity

My son recently finished a version of the school’s yearbook cover for a contest. It was a very nice example of 5th grade craft…but it looked more or less like every yearbook cover: a rendering of a brown mustang.

He said he was looking forward to art class today, but that he had already finished what they were working on at home. I encouraged him to use the time to think about using a different approach – not a brown horse like he and everyone had already done.

”But the horse is brown!” he protested.

"Yes", I said, "it is brown. But you’ve already done that. You’ve got it covered."

What if the next one was totally bright and wild colors? Or what if it was drawn like anime? Or if it was a dragon horse? Or a pegasus with wings? Then I pointed at his backpack, which had a stylized fox - or what if it was extracted into line art? Or anything that you’re interested exploring?

I could tell he was thinking even as he protested. And I wonder if he will do something with that…he just might.

Art is more than craft - it’s about your ideas and *perspective.*

Graphic design is about both of those, and then being conscious of the audience.

Is "art" just design for an audience of yourself? And if others happen to like it, more the better?

Design is so compelling because it also has that element of a puzzle to be solved - what will appeal? What’s successful? You look for clues in testing and in research and in results. You have natural collaborators in stakeholders who “draw the boxes that allow creativity”

"Art" always seems masturbatory and I have difficulty focusing without framework. I want to embrace the challenge, and touch all those hand crafted spots that have not been loved since I’ve been on the treadmill of speed.

To live outside the framework.

Threads I want to pursue. Hand drawn typography…always. Color and shape. Murals. 3d sculpture. Plant labels printed on my laser cutter. Characters. AI image generation with Midjourney. Github and Next.js. Storytelling. Structuring words. Graphic novels.

I'm not sure what it all is, but it is in me and my drive to create. And to understand what my perspective is. It's lucky I'm funding my own residency.

Strengthening the threads

All of these ideas have been bouncing around my head, buried beneath the demands of full time employment and motherhood. I am steadfastly trying to ignore the anxiety inducing internet threads: tech employment is going away! you will never be hired again once you're in your 40's! everyone's trying and failing to make a hustle work! Fuck em.

To be clear, this isn't truly a tech exit. It's the thing I know best, and (like what I've heard said about democracy) it's the best worst option – and technology continues to fascinate me.

But in the meantime, there is a course on restaurant branding and one on metal smithing. I'm continuing to learn everything I can about sustainable landscapes, water usage in the southwest, and cultivating native plants. I'm learning pickleball, and reading EVEN MORE than previously - everything from graphic novels to academic papers to whatever is recommended this week. And creating all the little things that occur to me each day.

Laser cutter to create plant labels:

Graphic novel about rainwater harvesting:

Trying out resin casting on some of my weirdo 3d character sculptures:

Marrying my love of geometric shapes and hand drawn typography into incredibly amateurish but deeply enjoyable painting

I'm also trying to not get too bogged down in producing things to not take time out of the day to go see classic films during a matinee, or playing video games with my children.

Where will it go? Who knows, but I'm hoping to not be trying to get any FTE employment until September, though I imagine I might take freelance work opportunistically. Wish me luck or follow along.